The Week in Review

Picture of the University of Chicago, taken by Jamie Williams. I encourage all the children to see the beauty of God's world from their perspective.

RAISING HEALTHY CHILDREN
(As presented at the WCG Conference in 2005)

3. Increase in wisdom: the ability to discern or judge what is true, right or lasting. If our children are not as healthy as they can be emotionally, this will affect where they are spiritually. I want you to know we play a big part in that. We are our children’s first teachers on what is true and what is right. We are their first teachers on how they should handle the things in their lives. Let’s look at some of those areas we can affect.





How to suffer – I know that as a parent our first response to this is I don’t want my child to go through any pain, so out of my love I will protect them from the things that will hurt them. Yes there is some wisdom in that belief. Now you don’t want to sit back and watch your child burn him or herself when you can take them away from the fire that will hurt. There are however times when your child will suffer and what you do with that situation can make a great impact on them and help them to grow in their understanding of God, grow in wisdom. Let’s read Hebrews 2:9-10 and 1 Peter 2:20



But we see Jesus, who was made a little lower than the angels for the suffering of death, crowned with glory and honor; that he by the grace of God should taste death for every man. For it became him, for whom are all things, and by whom are all things, in bringing many sons unto glory, to make the captain of their salvation perfect through sufferings. Hebrews 2:9-10



For even hereunto were ye called: because Christ also suffered for us, leaving us an example, that ye should follow his steps: 1 Peter 2:20



Let us look at the example we have here. God the father allowed his son to suffer. What did Jesus suffer? He suffered physical pain, he suffered spiritual pain and he suffered emotional pain. He suffered the physical pain by bearing in his body the nails, the crown, and the piercing. He suffered spiritual pain by feeling the isolation from his father when he took on our sins. He felt the emotional pain of not feeling the closeness to the one most important to him, his father. God being the wise father he is allowed the suffering even though it broke his heart, because he had a purpose he wanted fulfilled through his son’s life.



You and I as the parent must look at suffering the same way. Yes it is a hurtful place to seem to be standing by and not stopping the suffering, but God didn’t just stand by, he was there.



My middle child who is now seven has asthma and suffers from pneumonia quite often. She has problems with sinus infections and the list is endless. When she was about 3 years old she got really sick. It started as a virus and it got worse. I remember waking that morning and feeling the Lord telling me there’s urgency. I kneeled beside my bed and said Lord speak to me, tell me what it is and what do I need to do. He did. He told me what signs to look for in my daughter and how to tell the doctor so he would understand the problem. When I called and told the doctor he sent us immediately to the hospital.



To make this story short, it was really serious. The doctors tried to tell us in as nice a way as they could that we could have lost her. She had to have surgery because she had pneumonia with fluid around her lungs. She ended up having to have a blood transfusion and we were in intensive care for 11 days. She had to have antibodies given for about two months after that. They had to put a pic-line in her arm, so the medicine could go straight to the source. I was ready to ring the neck of the doctor putting that long thing in her arm. She was in such pain. I held my tongue, because I knew that for her to suffer this pain it would be for the betterment of her entire body. When everything was removed and we came home, there was a mark on her stomach from one of the bandages. It was the letter F. I’ve used that letter on her stomach on several occasions to explain to her about her suffering.



She asks me sometimes mommy, why do I have to be sick? I don’t like to be sick? I told her you know, mommies don’t know everything, but I believe I can speak with confidence on this matter. God in his wisdom knows something’s that I don’t. And you couldn’t be sick and feeling bad (suffering) if God had not allowed it to happen. Maybe he is allowing it because he wants you to know something about him that’s very special. First he wants you to know that if he is allowing this to happen to you it is because he looked through time and saw this was going to bring about something wonderful in who you are to become. God also said to himself, Jamie, can handle this as long as she trusts in me, because when she is weak, I’ll make her strong. Maybe he’s using it to develop your compassion for others. Maybe he’s using it to build something in you that he will use later to give him glory.



He may also be allowing you a special glimpse into something about him that others take for granted. Because breathing is something that you sometimes have to labor for, he’s allowing you every time you take a breath to think about how you have found favor with him.



You know that “F” on your stomach, that’s God’s mark on your life. He’s allowing you to know that you have found favor with him. He will support you as you continue to trust in him through whatever you go through. It’s a reminder for you that nothing is greater than him, no matter what it looks like.



See we need to tell our children that in the midst of their suffering that can have the favor of God on their lives. They may not have an “F” on their stomachs as a reminder but they have God’s favor as a mark on their lives. Allow them to see that through their disappointments, their upsets, their losses of friends and loved ones that God can support them. If our children can get that while they are young, oh God what a different generation this will be.



Encouragement: We also can encourage our children. My oldest daughter had eczema quite bad when she was younger. She would get such bad flare ups that her skin would look like she had been in a fight with a mountain lion and he had shredded her skin around her neck, arms and legs. She would get it very bad in her hair, and she scratched so bad that she scratched herself bald in places. We would try to give her medicine for her skin and it would burn so much until my husband had to sit on the kitchen floor with her in his arms and hold her until she stopped screaming. She didn’t want us to give her the medicine because it would hurt, but we knew that she had to have it so that her skin would heal. As much as I wanted to remove the hurt, and the pain I couldn’t, it was something we were going to have to go through. So I pulled out my pom poms in the spirit and began to cheer her on. I told her I was proud of her. She asked me why. I told her you could be angry because God hasn’t removed this from your life, but you aren’t. He isn’t punishing you. God in his wisdom knows more that you or I. We will continue to ask for complete healing, but even if he doesn’t, it doesn’t mean that he isn’t still worthy of our praise. I watched someone doing the micro braids and ask God to help me learn how to do them, so that I could keep her hair as pretty as I could. He answered me. I learned to braid and it has helped her to feel pretty again. Her hair is now longer than it was when she first scratched it out. I make sure I affirm her that what we see isn’t who you are. So your outside is doing some really crazy things right now and maybe you don’t see your beauty, but it’s there. See dear sisters, please let us get this great message to our children, you are not your circumstances. The things that happen to you are not who you are. You are not your sickness, you are not poverty, or whatever lot you find yourself in. If we do this we take away the ammunition that the enemy will use against our children to make them feel defeated and useless. He will begin to whisper in their ears, you are of no value, and you might as well give up. Don’t set them up for his tricks. Bind his hands and pull out your pom poms and cheer them on to victory.



When a child comes into this world they are going to feel pain. The birthing process brings about pain. No matter how much medicine we give the mother, the baby will still have to go through some pain. It couldn’t feel good somebody twisting your head and coming from a place of comfort to an unknown place, there has to be some pain, some suffering.
Well that’s what God wants us to know today suffering can birth something inside of your child. If God is allowing something in the life of your child, help them as the doctor does the new born baby, guide them, coach them with your gentle hand to go in the right directions but know that as you do, you are helping to birth in them, God’s glory.