Week in Review

HELP ME BE GOOD!

Fix these words of mine in your hearts and minds; tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Teach them to your children, talking about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Write them on the door frames of your houses and on your gates, - Deuteronomy 11:18-20

Someone asked me what are the things that I do to try and help my children with discipline. I have used this method starting with my oldest child that is now 18. I have adopted the method to fit with the age of the child. In a world where we are always looking to try and find things that can help us, I hope this helps you in setting up a standard (or reinforcing one).

You can purchase a large poster board and depending on the number of children you have, you can separate them into two sides and put a child on each side. At the top of each side I have place either the child’s picture or something that was important to them, and allowed them to know what side was theirs. I also allow them to color the boards, as they would like. You can either separate the board by adding lines to make places for the days of the week. The latest one I use, I simply place the stickers next to each other and when we come to the end of the month we place a marker mark behind the stickers for the last month and we start all over again. You can also, for the sake of separation, put the count of the total stickers behind the last sticker.

This is how the system works. At the beginning of the day each child starts off with a certain number of stickers (I did something slightly different with my oldest child. Instead of the stickers we simply used marker tallies). This is a guide I used for my children.

Things you gain/lose points for: You can get a total of 6 stickers a day.

You will be given only one warning before you lose a sticker. If you keep all your stickers, you may be able to win “extra” stickers for doing extra work when asked.

Chores – You must keep your room clean / you must pick up your school stuff / you must pick up all your toys and items around the house

Behavior – You must not scream /you must not fight with your sisters / you must not whine / no talking back to parents or each other / no name calling / no lying

Bed time rules – You must brush your teeth / take a bath or wash up / lotion up / and get in bed without being told

Morning rules – You must get up when told / you must eat what you are given / no whining about breakfast food / you must wash up and brush you teach on time / you must get all of your things ready without being told

Bible study rules – You must memorize you weekly scripture verse
Attitude – you must have a “right” attitude / you must not talk back to your parents or ignore them when they are giving instructions / you must remember God wants you to have a cheerful spirit

Rewards – at the end of each month, you will be able to receive rewards based on what your parents decide. Some of the coming rewards you can earn are: Sesame Street Live – Super Grover – May / Weekend getaway – Kids Fun-tastic weekend – April) also we will pick “Family weekend events” when you have kept at least 50% of your tickets.

This was one of the old systems we used. How can we expect the children to know what is expected of them unless we write it down and make it plan. So each child is given a list of what they are expected to do. They can put it up on their doors so they can see it each day (when they wake in the morning and when they go to sleep at night). If the children were warned about the behavior and they did not correct it, they lost a sticker. At first each child did not want to comply. However, when they realized the things they could lose, they did not want to lose a sticker. I found that the one that was helped the most from this system was me. Why? It kept me focused on what the rules were and I stopped being a “yeller”. I hated being a yeller. You know always yelling for everything your children did wrong. This was mainly because I was frustrated and could not gain the control. When I began using this system I gained the control and I found peace again in my house.

I hope this gives you an idea what would work for your family and your children. When my oldest daughter became a teenager, we had a signed contract. Her dealt with her phone, homework, curfew and house work. If your child isn’t big on rewards, find what they like. Sports and outings, then make that the reward. Time with you, make that the reward. Whatever will help you set up a standard is worth the time and investment.